Blending the Technologies

Ok all you whippersnapper, genius kids. All you technological gurus. All you young computer and phone junkies. I am here to tell you that you can teach an old dog new tricks. I actually prefer to use the words mature and worldly woman, but I don’t like to hear you snicker.

Even though you believe you own the world of up and coming technological stuff, those of us that are in our fourth and fifth decades and beyond have infiltrated your seemingly private world.

“How could that happen?” you may ask. Of course you would say “How cud that hapN ”. Well, believe it or not, those of us that are in that “sandwich-tween generation” – the ones that are still raising you and your kids, and are helping our parents too – actually can multi-task.

I don’t really want to show off, but my life is a combination of the best of both worlds. Stuff I learned in school and stuff I am learning from present day life. For example, I can actually use a calculator to perform a math problem – not Google the answer. I can figure out the tip of a check in my head – and not have to look on my phone for the “tip calculator app.” I can spell. (Well, most of the time – I am human after all). Oh, I can text too. Ask my kids. However when I hand in a memo at work it doesn’t say: ‘Hay, gr8 job, ty. C U L8r.” I have, however, figured out your secret code, and language. It was fun for awhile, but I realized my brain was getting mushy, and have gone back to the old-fashioned way of writing.

I have also gone the Facebook route, and am slowly winding down; tiring of the daily diatribe and dribble of the best friends I’ve never met. I will keep in contact with those I care about, and use it as a platform for uplifting information . I have a Twitter account too – but I forgot my password, which is fine – since I don’t really care if someone is grocery shopping or getting their car washed. I do, however on occasion pick up my phone and call my friends and family. No texting. Just wonder when the last time all of you under 25 did that? It’s a lost art, but those of us in the ancient inner circle have a whole lot of desire to keep the art alive.

I have a smart phone, a laptop, and a desktop that of course has Word, with spell check (thank goodness). But I also have a notebook pad with a pencil, a dictionary and an eraser. My smart phone has a GPS that I am thankful for, but I can (believe it or not) read a map.

I can bowl in a real alley, not just with my Wii game. I can strum a guitar…without the “Hero” part. I read books with real pages, and take my real dog for a real walk outside in the real world.

I’m not saying that I don’t like the new technology. I am just saying that I like being able to blend both worlds…and yes, live in whichever one suits me at that moment. “Lyf iz gr8” in both my worlds. Just don’t make me chose one!

My Halloween Alter-Ego

I could be a devil…you know, go against my apparently angelic personality. Or how about Snow White? I have never been Snow White….although I have, at some point or another in my life, been Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey and Grumpy. I am quite fond of princesses, also – and have been called that a time or two (a compliment, no doubt…) – so that isn’t really a stretch.

I am looking for an out of the box costume for Halloween. A homerun. A combination of cute, funny, fun, sexy and glamorous. Is that even possible? I mean, I don’t want to be predictable. (Why start now?)

There are a million costumes…it just is a challenge to find the right one. Google “Halloween costumes for women” and you get – you guessed it – angels, devils, maids, fairies, pirates and bunnies. Go figure. I want to be something much more memorable. Maybe Mommy Dearest or Sweet Baby Jane. Ok, so that is bringing out my dark side. But it is Halloween. Or I could go as one or more of my alter egos…such as Mary Poppins or Julie from the Love Boat. Or maybe Pepper Anderson from Policewoman. Even better, Betty White from anything she ever did. I also think I would make a great “Miss Kitty”, and maybe I could even pull off Cleopatra or a Geisha dancer, with the right wig.

Halloween is something that transcends the generations. Adults have fun being kids for a night. After all, we really do know how to have fun – it’s just that a few things have changed. I love haunted hayrides – the only difference is now I really shouldn’t drink a lot of liquid before I scream or laugh. If I choose to be a sexy nurse, I am going to have to wear the slimming “shapewear” underneath the fishnet hose. If I am going to be a clown, I will have to wear face primer so the make-up doesn’t get caught in my wrinkles. A ghost with a white sheet is sounding better all the time.

But I will keep pondering, hoping the perfect costume will materialize out of thin air (sorry, no witches, either). In the meantime, I will carve my pumpkins and decorate my front porch with scarecrows and a skeleton that sings “Bad to the Bone”, and I will eat candy corn while scanning the websites for my perfect alter-ego. After all, tricks and treats aren’t just for kids, are they?

And the winner is.....

Well, my unofficial poll is complete. Everyone I asked has told me that fall is their favorite time of year.
Those of us that live in the southern most northern part of the mid-west probably think of fall as our reward for the humid dog days of summer and the freezing chill of winter. I think actually that fall is pretty sneaky, and has a good sense of humor. Like for instance how to dress during this in-between season.
I will never forget when I was growing up I could not wait to wear my new back-to-school clothes; especially my Bobbie Brook pants and avocado green poncho – accessorized of course by my new clogs and macramé purse. My mother would warn me that by noon I’d be hot, and of course she was right. But I would go ahead sweat under that poncho, knowing I looked very Marsha Brady-ish.
I think maybe fall plays tricks on us to get us back because it seems like we are forgetting about it. Christmas decorations are already up for sale; each year it seems they get put out earlier and earlier. Who really buys Christmas decorations in June, anyway? Fall seems to be pushed aside…Christmas overshadowing Halloween, poinsettias and fruitcakes trumping pumpkins and miniature Snickers bars. The Halloween costume stores seem to go up and back down in the flash of a few weeks. I need more time than that to decide if I should be the good fairy or the bad fairy.
There are some sure things about fall that I know we can depend on: hot apple cider with rum (it’s good, try it) and squirrels doing gymnastics in my chestnut trees. Bright colored mums, large orange pumpkins and beautiful red apples still greet us at the market. The crock pot calls my name, and the grill is soon to be a distant memory. It’s time to switch to my russet and dark green and deep red throw pillows. The summer scents and flowers get replaced with gourds and cinnamon candles and the skeleton that sings “Bad to the Bone.”
Fall, we have not forgotten you. Go ahead and take your time handing over the baton to winter. Let your amazingly beautiful leaves linger just a little bit longer before I have to jump-start the leaf blower. Keep giving us your gentle breezes, clear, crisp mornings and bright, starry nights. Let us plan our hayrides and bon fires and eat extra candy corn. We are begging you to stay as long as you want. So for now, the mittens and ice scrapers will just have to wait.