“I think I’d like to go camping for my birthday”. “Hello? Shoot did I lose a signal again?” I was talking to my husband on my way home from work.
“No, I’m still here.”
“Then why aren’t you answering me?”
“Because I don’t know what to say – again.”
My husband, bless his heart, is the All-American Ricky Ricardo. He’s handsome. He can sing. He could play the bongos if he tried. And he’s married to a blonde “I Love Lucy”.
“I want to wake up in nature!” I exclaimed, getting caught up in the potential of my make-believe world. “I want to smell the coffee and bacon cooking on the campfire. I want to gaze at the stars and watch the birds and wildflowers.”
“We can do that from our back deck. With comfortable chairs and a nice glass of wine.”
“You are missing the point,” I said, exasperated. “Think what an adventure it would be.”
“It’s a daily adventure right here with you. I don’t think can stand anymore adventure. We have plenty.”
“But we have the gear! The tent, the sleeping bags, the air mattress, the portable stove…”
He cut me off. “The tent was loaned out 10 years ago and never returned. The mice in the garage decided they not only wanted to sleep in our sleeping bags, but that they tasted pretty good too. And one of the kids borrowed the portable stove for their apartment and I think it caught on fire. We have no “gear”. Sorry to burst your bubble.”
Just like Ricky, he could see the wheels turning in my head. I must get some kind of look or smile, because I swear he knows when I am trying to conjure up a harebrained idea.
“Karen…don’t do it.” (This said with a fake Hispanic accent. He thinks he’s funny.)
“Oh don’t worry honey. It’ll be ok. I’ll see you at home. In about an hour or two. I have a couple stops on the way”
“Seriously, Karen. What have you got up your sleeve? You have some ‘splainin to do.” (Did I mention he thinks he’s funny?)
“There is a sale at the sporting goods store and…”
“Do me a favor. Let me plan your birthday. I will handle the whole thing. And you will love it. I promise.”
Darn. How could I refuse that? I gave in. And the next day he presented me with his plans. It was a compromise, he told me.
“I’ve rented us a room for a few nights at a romantic bed and breakfast. It’s way out in the country. Lots of hiking trails. You can wake up to the sound of birds and the smell of coffee and bacon. You don’t have to blow up an air mattress. You can take a shower every day. And they will make your bed.”
Wow. He drives a hard bargain. How could I refuse? I hugged him and told him he was the most wonderful husband in the world. And as he walked away, a smug smile on his face, I could swear he was singing “Babaloo”.
Now we just have to find out if Fred and Ethyl can watch the dogs while we are gone.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
A Letter From Charlie (the Dog)
Dear Aunt Nan:
My mom is making me write this. She said I have to apologize for peeing on your carpet. Twice. She said I have to buy you a bottle of Nature’s Miracle out of my next allowance…instead of the chew toy I wanted. I guess that’s ok, since I have an extra toy my granny gave me for Christmas.
Your carpet almost feels like grass – and I mean that in a good way. Mom doesn’t realize I was just testing it out….I didn’t mean to make a mess, honest.
My mom also said that next time I want to play with Cheyenne that she has to come to my house to play, since I am on restriction from going to your house. I don’t know what restriction means, but my mom was pretty serious when she said it. She also said that maybe this summer you would let me come over if I stay outside, and I said that would really be wonderful. I like your outside grass better, anyway.
Did you see the picture my mom showed you when we were there? My mom said that dog is what I am supposed to look like, but there was some kind of genetic mix up at the lab. Not sure what that means but she says she loves me anyway – and I DO know what that means. I don’t know if she told you, but we just found out I have some kind of lung condition. My lungs are quite scarred and it’s hard for me to breathe at times. The doctor said this could affect my quality of life. I don’t know why they are worried, since my life is grand and the quality could not be any better! (Did I mention the pills taste like yummy liver?)
Anyway, I am very sorry and am sending you many kisses. (Even though at times I’ve been told I may give too many. How can a dog give too many kisses?)
Don’t forget I love you. I have to go now, ‘cause my mom says I have to do my homework on account I have to go to special needs doggy school tomorrow, and the short bus comes very early.
Lots of licks, and a high five too,
Charlie
PS: My daddy just got home and said I didn’t have nice manners. I am not sure what that means, but I don’t think he’s happy either. I will charm him by dancing around him and showing him how much I love him. Remind me to show you that trick next time, ok?
My mom is making me write this. She said I have to apologize for peeing on your carpet. Twice. She said I have to buy you a bottle of Nature’s Miracle out of my next allowance…instead of the chew toy I wanted. I guess that’s ok, since I have an extra toy my granny gave me for Christmas.
Your carpet almost feels like grass – and I mean that in a good way. Mom doesn’t realize I was just testing it out….I didn’t mean to make a mess, honest.
My mom also said that next time I want to play with Cheyenne that she has to come to my house to play, since I am on restriction from going to your house. I don’t know what restriction means, but my mom was pretty serious when she said it. She also said that maybe this summer you would let me come over if I stay outside, and I said that would really be wonderful. I like your outside grass better, anyway.
Did you see the picture my mom showed you when we were there? My mom said that dog is what I am supposed to look like, but there was some kind of genetic mix up at the lab. Not sure what that means but she says she loves me anyway – and I DO know what that means. I don’t know if she told you, but we just found out I have some kind of lung condition. My lungs are quite scarred and it’s hard for me to breathe at times. The doctor said this could affect my quality of life. I don’t know why they are worried, since my life is grand and the quality could not be any better! (Did I mention the pills taste like yummy liver?)
Anyway, I am very sorry and am sending you many kisses. (Even though at times I’ve been told I may give too many. How can a dog give too many kisses?)
Don’t forget I love you. I have to go now, ‘cause my mom says I have to do my homework on account I have to go to special needs doggy school tomorrow, and the short bus comes very early.
Lots of licks, and a high five too,
Charlie
PS: My daddy just got home and said I didn’t have nice manners. I am not sure what that means, but I don’t think he’s happy either. I will charm him by dancing around him and showing him how much I love him. Remind me to show you that trick next time, ok?
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