Sweet Home in California

The sun isn’t shining - yet. But very soon, I will see the reflection on the bright blue and green of the ocean. I can’t get enough of it. We are perched on top of a hill, with views of valley and mountains and ocean. I am back in California and am not only soaking up the sun, but the love and the comfort and memories of home.
I am sitting at my mom’s computer (she’s in her 80’s and knows more about the internet than I do) and looking up at a picture of my dad - his young, handsome, unlined face is looking down at me as I write. He’s wearing his flight jacket - the same musty, cracked leather brown bomber jacket that I wear during the cold winter months in Ohio. I went to see my dad a few days back. He’s buried in a lovely cemetery in the Garden of Valor - reserved for men and women that have served our country.
Soon I will take a walk along the canyon, smelling all the smells that evoke childhood memories: sage, eucalyptus and sea salt. We are having our “June Gloom” weather where it’s quite cool in the morning and fog is mixed with clouds. The sun will show up after lunch and then the rest of the day will be glorious.
I have spent the past week on the beach. I couldn’t get enough of the sand, the salt and the cold Pacific creeping up over my toes. I felt like a 4th grader, shouting as I watched dolphins swim off the pier - or a sea lion body surfing next to the surfers with the boards. I watched huge pelicans flying in formation, looking like small Pterodactyl dinosaur birds, diving into the ocean for their lunch. I collected sea shells for my always growing collection - memories to be taken back to Ohio for my “California room”.
I am not going to lie - I get very homesick. It’s as if I have one foot home in Ohio and one foot back here, in Southern California. I miss my kids and grandkids, my dogs and my friends. (My husband is with me so I am not missing him!). I miss my garden and the woods behind my house. But I also miss my mom, my sister and brother, the ocean where I learned how to body surf, my friends that I grew up with and that “California” feeling and attitude.
Those that know me don’t deny I am a little out of place in the mid-west. Although it is my home, there are times I may seem a little out of sync. (You can take the girl out of California, but you can’t take California out of the girl.) I’ve never tried to change my attitude or spirit. I guess for that very reason, it’s very easy to be living a life with one foot in each location. When I am home in Ohio, I live that life fully. When I come back home to California, I don’t miss a step.
It has taken me awhile to discover the reason why I am able to live two lives without becoming schizophrenic: I am at peace with myself. I am happy living and “just being” wherever I am planted. There is no doubt I am currently in one of the most beautiful places in the world. And I believe because of the gift that I am learning everyday - the gift of learning to love every waking minute and living for the “now” - I am able to soak up the wonderfulness and uniqueness of each location with relish, and not regret time away from either home.
Soon I will be back in Ohio, my time spent here fading like my tan. And instead of dwelling on not being here, and obsessing about planning my next trip, I will instead take a deep breath and appreciate the sights and smells of my current home. I will reflect upon my seashells and lounge in my beach-themed screened-in porch. I will choose not to be homesick; instead I will savor the memories of the ocean, while soak up the smells of pine, fresh mowed grass and smoke from the bonfire in our backyard. Instead of missing the view of the ocean, I will delight in the sight of the luscious woods behind our house, that house the bright red Cardinals and the furry-tailed squirrels. I will smile as I hear the dogs bark, the grandkids shout and my friends and family laughing and joking. Home is where the heart is. And I’ve decided it’s ok to share my heart with two different homes…and to not dwell where I can’t be - but instead to appreciate where I am.