There's an APP for that

I love modern technology. Who knew how close Gene Roddenberry really would be? I swore I’d not get all “high tech” but sometimes it’s just hard to resist. My handsome husband is a self-proclaimed Star Trek freak – and I spent the first few years of our relationship making fun of him and the entire Science Fiction genre.
I’ve come a long way since then – trust me. I am glad my husband knows about computers and gadgets and all things electric. (I’m equally glad his Explorer no longer has the bumper sticker that read: Star Fleet Academy).
I was one of the people that kind of fought doing everything on my desk top computer. Heaven forbid something happened. Then of course it moved to a laptop, and now my phone. I literally can do everything from my “smart” phone. The fact that the darn thing is smarter than I am frustrates me just a bit, but then I bring myself back to earth when I realize my phone actually makes me appear more intelligent than I may be. I mean, I even looked up the spelling of Gene’s last name on my phone.
These phones really are incredible. I have an app for just about everything I need. I have an app for counting calories. (That one has not been used). I have an app for healthy recipes. (Sometimes used). I have an app on wine tasting. (Many times used). If I want to know how many steps I’ve taken, there’s an app for that. If I want to listen to a radio station in Italy, there’s an app for that. I’ve also downloaded the app for learning to speak Italian. Oh, and the one that specializes in Italian wine. Next will be the app for “how to afford to rent a villa in Italy near a vineyard”.
I have an app for my 3-year-old granddaughter (she had to show me how to use it). I have an app for the weather , an app to teach me how to play my ukulele, and an app for daily uplifting or spiritual quotes. Today’s is: “Creativity is a natural extension of our enthusiasm.” Earl Nightingale.
I have a Zippo lighter app to use at classic rock concerts and a flashlight app to use in dark movie theaters. A self-help app to help motivate myself and an errands check list app to keep me more organized. (I guess I should use that one more.) I have a book nook app if I actually want to read a book on the tiny little screen and a translator on how to say my name in other languages. (It’s the same in most). I have the required Angry Birds app, and the much loved Words with Friends app.
There is even an app called “The Great App Show” that tells me which apps I can’t live without. I seriously do love the logical apps – such as GPS and weather. I find some obscure apps quite handy such as the dog whistle app or the Gas Buddy app (finds cheapest gas near you.) I suppose at this point in my life if you took away my smart phone, I may be a little upset. I’m not addicted to it, but I am becoming dependent on it. I Google (the need to know NOW) and text (gotta love it) and Facebook (status updates rock – are you with me?) right there with the rest of the gang.
But there is one very special reason that I love my smart phone. It has email. My mom (who lives in Southern California) and I email every day, no matter what. With the three-hour time difference it often makes phone calls challenging. So the fact that I can write my mom either a long letter or a short “I love you” every day, no matter where in the world I am, means so very much to me. It keeps us very connected, despite the many miles separating us. It has brought my mom closer and made my world a bit smaller – and for that I’m grateful.

Ok, so I consider myself pretty technologically savvy. I can Twitter, Tweet, email, text and I even have my own blog. I just joined the 12-step program for those that Facebook too often.

So why then, is my so-called “smart phone” making me feel so very stupid?
I mean if you watch the commercials, this thing has an application for just about everything but washing your car – and you can almost bet those techies are working on that as we speak. I really like all the things that they say it can do. But the only problem is: I can’t do them!

My husband says it’s operator error. He also said I have to actually research it online AND read the directions. What? I mean c’mon. Why can’t I just pick it up and push a few buttons and it will do what I want it to do. Like, for example, make a phone call.

Now, in my household, we are having a “phone war”. He has an iPhone. I swear if there was a bumper sticker that said “Don’t Hate me Just Because I have an iPhone” he would get it. I mean this is the man that had a “Starfleet Command” bumper sticker on his vehicle when I first met him. I’ve since learned to not judge a person by their bumper sticker, but that’s another story.

Anyway, I have the new DROID. Yes, it is supposed to be in all caps. I mean it is, after all, a DROID. It is new, hip, cool, Google-powered and is working on that carwash app. But here is the problem. I can’t figure out how to use the dang thing! There is actually an online community called “Fan-Droid” (yes, I am serious) that I plan on researching. In my spare time. It will show me how to use those all important apps like 1001 Cocktails, Calorie Counter and Cheap Gas. It will teach me how to apply the new girly “skin” I downloaded but don’t know how to access. It will allow me to text in one window, place a call in another and Google the definition for application in another. I mean with a phone like this, you know my husband has to be totally envious.

My husband is truly a techie “savant” and I know darned well that he can spend 20 minutes with my phone, have it all figured out and then teach me. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem. But I guess I took the phone-wars thing a little too seriously, because when I ask him a question, he will text the answer to my DROID and then watch with laughter as I use every four letter word I know trying to figure out the dang thing. I don’t mean to sound ancient, but at times I do crave for the not so distant past when my phone, of all things, wasn’t smarter than me. Even though I am perturbed at Mr. iPhone User, it’s time for me to go make him dinner. There’s a great new Recipe app on my phone…now if I can just figure out how to open it. Or maybe I will just use the actual phone to call for pizza. Does anyone have a regular phone I can borrow?