Ok, so I consider myself pretty technologically savvy. I can Twitter, Tweet, email, text and I even have my own blog. I just joined the 12-step program for those that Facebook too often.

So why then, is my so-called “smart phone” making me feel so very stupid?
I mean if you watch the commercials, this thing has an application for just about everything but washing your car – and you can almost bet those techies are working on that as we speak. I really like all the things that they say it can do. But the only problem is: I can’t do them!

My husband says it’s operator error. He also said I have to actually research it online AND read the directions. What? I mean c’mon. Why can’t I just pick it up and push a few buttons and it will do what I want it to do. Like, for example, make a phone call.

Now, in my household, we are having a “phone war”. He has an iPhone. I swear if there was a bumper sticker that said “Don’t Hate me Just Because I have an iPhone” he would get it. I mean this is the man that had a “Starfleet Command” bumper sticker on his vehicle when I first met him. I’ve since learned to not judge a person by their bumper sticker, but that’s another story.

Anyway, I have the new DROID. Yes, it is supposed to be in all caps. I mean it is, after all, a DROID. It is new, hip, cool, Google-powered and is working on that carwash app. But here is the problem. I can’t figure out how to use the dang thing! There is actually an online community called “Fan-Droid” (yes, I am serious) that I plan on researching. In my spare time. It will show me how to use those all important apps like 1001 Cocktails, Calorie Counter and Cheap Gas. It will teach me how to apply the new girly “skin” I downloaded but don’t know how to access. It will allow me to text in one window, place a call in another and Google the definition for application in another. I mean with a phone like this, you know my husband has to be totally envious.

My husband is truly a techie “savant” and I know darned well that he can spend 20 minutes with my phone, have it all figured out and then teach me. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem. But I guess I took the phone-wars thing a little too seriously, because when I ask him a question, he will text the answer to my DROID and then watch with laughter as I use every four letter word I know trying to figure out the dang thing. I don’t mean to sound ancient, but at times I do crave for the not so distant past when my phone, of all things, wasn’t smarter than me. Even though I am perturbed at Mr. iPhone User, it’s time for me to go make him dinner. There’s a great new Recipe app on my phone…now if I can just figure out how to open it. Or maybe I will just use the actual phone to call for pizza. Does anyone have a regular phone I can borrow?