What the Babies and Dogs are really saying....

Everyone always says how much they love dogs and babies. I mean most of the television commercials I even remember have one of both in it. There really is no reason not to like dogs or babies. They are cute, fun, usually happy and – let’s face it – they don’t talk back. Babies and dogs can’t tell us what they are really thinking. They can’t say the word “no”. They communicate by cooing, smiling, or wagging their tail. They normally love everyone. They laugh or jump for joy at our silly antics of baby talk. They think our rendition of “Itsy Bitsy Spider” is the best they’ve ever heard. They think the latest dog treat is the best they’ve ever tasted. They are happy to see us and act like they’ve missed us - even if we’ve only just turned our back for 30 seconds.
But let’s face it. In reality, what we think they are communicating and what they really mean could be two totally different things.
My new granddaughter is being introduced to “real” foods. So when mommy or daddy shoves some tasteless green peas in her mouth, they are happy when she smiles and coos and eats it without going all “Exorcist” on them. But if you really watch her eyes, you know that there is much more going on in that little five-month-old brain of hers.
Daddy: “Come on pumpkin. Sweet peas! Yummy! Look, watch daddy taste them. Ick! Oh man, these really could use some salt. And maybe a steak to go with it. Ok, sweetie, come on, eat the nummy peas. Take one more bite for daddy. That’s right, eat it all.”
Baby: “Ok, seriously dad. You can’t even handle one bite and you expect me to eat the entire thing? Get real. I mean I appreciate mom going through the trouble to make me organic, fresh baby food – but I’d really be happy having some of the pepperoni pizza you’ve got there. And maybe some of that soda. Oh, I know, healthy smealthy. But when I’m a teenager and you wonder why I have weight issues, just think back to when you made me eat an entire bowl of tasteless green peas. Look, I appreciate what you are doing. But help a girl out here – I have needs too.”
Our three dogs definitely have minds of their own as well. Sure, they look cute, sweet and innocent. Just like our granddaughter. But I have no doubt there is a lot more going on in their minds than their adorable, furry expressions show.
Me: “Ok guys, mommy has to go to work now. You be good widdle doggies and I’ll be home soon!”
Dog #1: “Right. And tonight you’ll let me sleep on the bed. Not! Don’t think I don’t remember what you told me. You also promised an extra treat last night. What’s up with that? And can you please not talk baby talk to us – in dog years I’m old enough to be your grandpa. Hey guys, party in mom’s bedroom while she’s at work! Let’s sleep on the bed, drink outta the toilet and play catch with her new shoes. Who’s in?”
For now we are safe, I guess. Their little computer brains may be storing this information, but we can still look at their adorable, innocent faces and read whatever we want into their simple expressions. And according to my dogs and granddaughters, I am the most amazing person in the universe. No wonder I love them so much.