Menapausal Mother Nature

It happens to the best of us. After a certain age, I guess it is inevitable in some way, shape or form. Some people get red sports cars, others, a Harley. Some get new hairstyles, a new wardrobe or grow a beard. The beard part, on men, can look pretty good. On women, not so much. I am speaking, of course, about mid-life.
I have noticed this year that it appears Mother Nature herself is going through her own mid-life crisis. Or maybe it’s menopause. Regardless, she’s acting more psycho than normal.
Kind of ironic, since Mother Nature did have a hand in “inventing” mid-life. Now it seems she’s getting a taste of her own medicine. Unfortunately, just like an unsuspecting spouse, we Ohioans are experiencing the change of life right along with her.
I guess it’s her moods swings that are affecting me the most. One minute she’s sunny and happy, the next she’s gloomy and cold. She can’t make up her mind at all. Snow one minute, rain the next – and some ice and frost thrown in for fun. I am not sure if she enjoys watching us go from down parkas to t-shirts and back again in the course of 3 hours, but at times I sense a hint of humor in the air…possibly a touch of smirk when I look at the sky. Other times her changes can make my head spin, and therefore it leads me to believe she’s just as mystified by the sudden change as I am.
We humans aren’t the only ones this Mother Nature mid-life crisis is torturing. The poor birds don’t know whether to feather their nests or to grab the next flight back to the south. The geese are circling overhead, not sure to land or keep on going. In bird circles, Ohio is the most gossiped about area. Used to be all they chatted about was which house has the best bird feeders; now, it’s whether or not to bi-pass Ohio and head straight for Michigan.
The squirrels are starting to look less fat and furry, and it’s sad to see them shivering out in the cold, cursing the fact that they already sent their winter coats to the animal Goodwill. Even my dogs are getting a little tired of the “sweater on – sweater off – sweater back on” ritual.
The crocuses are trying to reverse themselves and stay buried a little longer, and the daffodils have decided they’d rather wait and come out when they know they won’t get goose bumps on their yellow petals.
Mother Nature, in your change of life form, you are channeling the Katie Perry song: “Hot N Cold”. If your goal is to drive us crazy, you are succeeding.
Now, it’s true they say mid-life can be fun. It’s a great time to learn new hobbies, find new passions, and travel. So, Mother Nature, how about you take all that menopausal frustration and put it into something productive. Like maybe a spring day that will stay that way. For a few weeks. Without snow. Just a suggestion – please don’t turn on me…I’m on your side, really. And if you want, I can give you the name of a great doctor – or wine store - here in town…your entire family will thank you for it.