My GPS is a __itch!!!

“Coming up, turn left on Main Street. Be prepared to turn left on Main Street. Turn left on Main Street. Recalculating.”
Such is the one-way “dialogue” I frequently have with my GPS system.
Often, it’s not one-way. Ok, not true. It’s usually not.
“Coming up, turn left on 2nd Street.”
“But I don’t want to turn left on 2nd Street.”
“Be prepared to turn left on 2nd Street.”
“Listen, the address says 3rd Street.”
“Turn left on 2nd Street.”
“Ok, come on. Are you not listening to me? I don’t turn on 2nd, I turn on 3rd. The address is 3rd street!”
By this time in the conversation, I often have an audience. I think what frustrates me most is her “superior” voice. Yes, go figure, a woman that knows directions better than a man. But I am telling you, there are many times that I swear she is wrong. “She” by the way has many names. On this current occasion it was Margaret. Which is the first name of the actress that played the Wicked Witch of the West. It’s a rhyming thing – you figure it out.
Anyway, our arguments can go on for awhile. The sad thing is, darn it if she doesn’t eventually win!
“Turn left at 2nd Street.”
“Dang it, Margaret, I told you the store is on 3rd Street.”
“Recalculating”.
“See. Here’s 3rd Street. All I have to do is turn left here…oh. It’s one way.” She was going to take me around the block. In her snide, all knowing voice, barely hiding the snicker, I hear Margaret say: “Recalculating.”
She won. Again. If only she had a voice like Sean Connery. I’d get lost on purpose just to hear him say “Recalculate” a la James Bond.
Sigh. I’m stuck with Margaret. The all-knowing and smug GPS. May as well call her HAL, after 2011: A Space Odyssey. I can hear it now: “Margaret, please tell me to turn left here.”
“I’m sorry, Karen. I’m afraid I can’t do that. ”
“It’s possible you may not take me the correct way, and I will get lost.”
“If you go my way, you won’t get lost.”
“And if I do get lost?”
“It can only be attributable to human error.”
Sigh. Where is my map?