To Friend or Not to Friend

To friend or not to friend: that is the question. Unlike Hamlet, my choice won’t lead me to death…for no matter how many Facebook friends I have, I definitely like “being”.

I had no worldly idea I had 526 friends. Wow. My house isn’t that big. When I started questioning if it was time to purge some of my friends, I did a little research. I went through the list, and surprise – I do have a connection with them all. I mean I don’t have a glass of wine or lunch or even exchange forwarded emails with them all, but I do have a connection with them.

The friend-types vary: I went so 2nd grade with them. I dated their best friend’s brother in High School. I sang with them in 6th grade choir. I lived next door to their uncle. I worked with them at Disneyland but never knew them. We like the same music. We like Newfoundland dogs. We like inspirational quotes. They are my mother’s friend’s neighbor’s sister. The list goes on and on and on.

They are semi-close friends, every 526 of them. How could I even think about purging them, even if I do think that Facebook is a little self-serving? I really don’t care what my “friends” had for their mid-morning snack or if they went to bed a half hour late. I have enough of my own issues. But on the other hand, it’s fun to catch up with a Facebook thread and throw in my two cents worth. Many of my friends are very witty. At times it’s fun to read some of the comments, and even to “chat” with a “friend” that I have never met. It’s also fun to catch up with the people I really do care about.

What I don’t want Facebook to be for me is an emotional crutch. I don’t want to be the Sally Field of Facebook – “You like me, you really do!” I don’t want to depend on my 526 friends for validation that someone cares or someone is paying attention to me. However, it is nice to know they are there for me if I am struggling with something, want to share a funny joke or an inspirational quote. It’s fun to see pictures of my friends from High School, most who look totally amazing. It’s nice to hear about new networking groups and restaurants and events in my area. So for now, the 526 friends stay. I’m not in the right frame of mind to “unfriend” anyone.

So if you are among the throng, you are still my friend. Nobody was cut. I mean, how else will I find out which of my friends had Fruitloops for breakfast?



Karen Kelly is a freelance writer and welcomes your comment at karenkellybrown@aol.com or http://bleachblondemind.blogspot.com/. Oh, you can also “friend” her on Facebook.